1. |
Manufactured Nostalgia
02:18
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We were challenged to change ourselves
No situation was worth pretending to feel well
Carry the weight to the furthest side
The side that you've avoided your whole life
Well God Damn, You've gone a while without it
Everything distorts when it doesn't go away
The lines blur together as you try to find out
You think you wanted to go back but then you remember why you don't
Your point is proven right but nothing about that feels good
When you're feeling empty, no good gestures can fill the space.
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2. |
Sad As Fiction
03:07
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Fucked at the start
I tried to catch a glimpse
Forgetting I couldn't see
Past my own reflection
Attempt to reconstruct
What happiness I thought I knew
Visions clear, begin to blur
Forget the name, fill in the blank
Was it how I remembered?
Was it by chance or circumstance
Nevermind we'll start this over
An open ending waiting to collapse
Attempt to reconstruct
What happiness I thought I knew
Visions clear, begin to blur
Couldn't even recognize your face
Forget the name, fill in the blank
Now and then I wonder
Does the wind blow
With no mind to the direction we face
Separate me from the sound
I'm starting to believe
More fills the space
Like a drop in the ocean
The earth began to open
It felt like time had frozen
Faces all around
Light passed through me
Hands pressed on me
It blocked out the sun
Beasts of land and sky
Swept beneath the deep
I was all alone and I was finally free
In the distance figures rise
Eyes absent, empty, black
Face familiar, somehow different
Anger then forgiveness
With a breath can't help but let go
There is nothing only light
Not a sound, Not a touch
Nothing more, Just us.
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3. |
Blue Noise
02:29
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Out of obligation, I give a response
Replicate the feeling I felt all those years ago
You lie about how you feel
But maybe Nothing is real
Don't rely on me
Here I am again, alone in this
Here I am again, endlessness.
Intimidated by your careless demeanor
While I care about everything, you care about nothing
I didn't see things through like I promised
Now I stay inside dwelling caverns
Your Carnivores heart eats away in return
And these pharmacy pills are the only thing I've earned
Intimidated by your careless demeanor
While I care about everything, you care about nothing
Out of obligation I give a response
Replicate the feeling I felt all those years ago
You lie about how you feel
But maybe nothing is real
Don't rely on me.
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4. |
A Little ill
02:50
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Remove me from my skin
Scratch the surface of what has been
It hits me like a ton of bricks
My hands shake and I can't hold still
Fucked up lives that we lived
It's all real. A plastic reality.
Has cracked this cast
Let's all feel
Let's take pills
No more surprise to shatter this
It won't last
No more promise to fix the past
Built from weakness
"Nothing can hurt me"
I don't have a nurtured mirror
I never felt the protection
Whatever is in my head
It's endless. It's vast.
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5. |
Cesarean
03:30
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Being cut from the belly of the mother of the earth
Blow up expectations of the ones that bring curse
This world never suited you anyway
Ask me again. Ask me to stay.
Bring the earth to me.
Ask me again. Watch me decay.
Bring the earth to me
Everyone is too far
Why was I made with scars
Sounds of wounds tear me apart
Fragile like the delivery
Brought in like the golden sea
The sun lit up the waves in me
Being cut from the belly of the mother of the earth
Blow up expectations of the ones that bring curse
The sun lit up the waves in me
But I never learned to cope
With the darkness that often speaks to me.
Every one is too far.
This world never suited you anyway
Ask me again. Ask me to stay.
This world never suited you anyway
Ask me again, watch me decay
Being cut from the bely of the mother of the earth.
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6. |
Paradigm
02:16
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The nagging pulls me in
Can't control no more, I'm wearing thin
Like blasphemous ideals become a paradigm
Maybe paradise is around the corner where the sun shines
But right now I just can't make the time
In areas of health, I deteriorate
Or so I say
The nagging pulls me in
Can' control no more because I'm wearing thin
Spoken from a place of fear
I fear the Death God will finally hear
Hear my yells, Hear my screams
Pleading for a way out
But right here, I still Bleed.
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7. |
Dead Ends
03:24
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It's endless
It's vast
Complicate emotions
Repeat the past.
Lost in a place with no direction
No path is clear. We're all just to vague
Nothing to blame. Is this insecure?
Is this all I am? Is this all I'll be?
Searching for something. Searching for more.
This is a dead end.
Searching for something. Searching for more.
This is a dead end.
Manipulate yourself
Forced to stay, you want to leave
Self diagnosis hell
Plot escape, now stuck again
Nothing to blame. Is this insecure?
Pressed for time. Awake again, awake again
A hollow body, a hollow frame
This is a dead end.
Not sure where I reside
I thought I could just run
Crippling words solidify
Dance along those naive thoughts
No more children, Now you're gone
Is this all I am? Is this all I'll be?
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8. |
Sleuth
03:21
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I'm a clear window
You can see right through
You just wanted to be heard
Tear them down without consequence
Need validation for your false pretense
Whatever the feeling is, It's a mutual reflection of you
I'm a clear window
You can see right through
It was out of the blue
And all these cigarettes I burn through
All I wanted was your lies
Please give me your skeletons
You fucking vultures
You start chiming in
No remorse now
Just messy revenge
You just wanted to be heard
Tear them down without consequence
Need validation for your false pretense
It was out of the blue
And all these cigarettes I burn through
I love it when you hide
Keep your mask on real tight
Some people just want to be special.
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9. |
Float
03:40
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Trade me out for someone else
You're everything, I'm nothing
Trade me out for someone else
Do you picture me when you daydream?
Do you catch me feelings when you daydream?
Maybe I just want something to miss
Do I float in your dreams?
You're disappointed with what I give
Trade me out for someone else
You're everything, I'm nothing
Trade me out for someone else
Do you ever think of me when you daydream?
Do you catch me feelings when you daydream?
Maybe I just wanted something to miss
Do I float in your dreams?
This Two year gap I grew, You called, I'm lost again
I'm holding back so that this won't repeat again
An audience to your life that is a play
I bite my tongue, Blistered and raw, Can't look away.
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10. |
Extroversion
03:40
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I know what I can see
My mind is playing tricks
My mind is playing tricks on me
A hunger for skin
Crave the affection
Gave Protection
Provide security, sweep me off my feet
But you were out of reach, you are like a ghost
A hunger for skin
Can't connect to nothing
Stuck in a box that I create
I see life through a lens
The glass is broken, Full of end
(Longing for something to lean on. Fall back where things might be okay)
I exist inside a movie screen
Romanticize Everything
(Romanticize)
I'm placed in every vacant corner
Took part in projecting every image of our last encounter of everlasting pain
Socialized
Gone inside.
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Joi Lume Ontario, California
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